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Cycles of resentment or fighting in relationships... Relationship fatigue!

Updated: Nov 16, 2021

A relationship ‘fund’ works like a bank account.

When we need support (usually if other things like work, friendships, finances, health, kids etc are not going super well), we will go to our relationship and withdraw from that relationship fund to “fill us up” due to the other issues withdrawing from our personal physical, emotional or mental funds.

This is fine in the beginning, especially before having kids, because the relationship funds are full and withdrawals are fairly minimal.

But over time, as each individual requires the top ups to their personal funds, and they keep withdrawing, withdrawing, withdrawing from the relationship funds (HELLO LITTLE BABES WHO ARE LITERALLY DEPENDENT ON US FOR THEIR VERY SURVIVAL), the relationship account becomes depleted.

As it gets depleted, it can then go into negative balance, and the negative balance is evident once a cycle of relentless fighting occurs, or just basic relationship fatigue - losing the spark, resentment builds etc.

So, logically, thinking about this like a bank account, what needs to happen? Two things:

❌ Less withdrawals

✅ More deposits

Getting the other areas of life back into great shape and feeling as fulfilled as possible is one side of the coin. The other is increasing the deposits - from both sides, ideally, but even just one side will make a difference. Each small deposit into the relationship fund brings the balance back into neutral, then slowly slowly back into positive.

So, you could consider what deposits look like in your relationship?

❤ Is a deposit that you make a conscious effort to compliment one another more (e.g. dinner was so lovely tonight, I especially liked the _____)

💙 Is a deposit simply bringing more awareness to your relationship and noticing things more (you seem more tired than usual, how about I do X tonight).

💚 Is a deposit a kiss every single time your partner arrives home?

There are unlimited things that could count as deposits from words to actions and even the thoughts you choose to give attention to, each of which will contribute to a much healthier relationship fund, and thanks to an amazing thing called the Reticular Activating System, you'll find that this will also deposit into your personal funds effortlessly over time, too!

This is just ONE of the things covered in the Relationship Renewal program, with the next intake commencing Feb 7th, 2022!

4 months of epic value and life changing transformations on a personal and relational level.

PM or email for details on how to secure a spot - Places are strictly limited so contact me ASAP.

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